Self-Care In The Era Of Trump & Brexit

I spent much of 2016 depressed, a mental health crisis triggered by the Brexit vote and exacerbated by the US elections. Yet I've begun 2017 in the most positive place for years and I wondered, why? When the world is undeniably getting worse, not better, and the news out of America becomes more and more dystopian, why am I feeling so cheerful?

I think the answer has to do with finally cracking a self-care routine that really works for me. Siobhan wrote eloquently and brilliantly last week on why self-care can be a problematic term and I very much suggest you read it, but I'm about to completely ignore her very valid argument that "self-care articles are [not] the way forward" and write one of my own.

I am very privileged - I hold a UK passport and am white, cisgender, and middle class, all of which means I am able to sometimes close the door and take a break from the noise of the world. It's important to recognise that this is not a privilege that everyone in this country - let alone the world - has. My self-care routines aren't about ignoring what's happening, they're about taking time to regroup and recharge so I'm better able to be useful in what has become a fight against fascism.

I'm accepting my limits with regard to activism and advocacy, while recognising what I can do
I spent a lot of 2016 beating myself up about the fact that my anxiety prevents me from going to protests and marches. I find large groups challenging in so many ways, from social anxiety to crowd-related panic attacks to IBS anxiety about not always having a loo accessible, and I saw this as a failing on my part, rather than looking at what else I could do. I wrote at the start of the year about not wanting to use my mental & physical health as an excuse to not take action, but I'm learning that it's important to recognise that there are many and varied ways of carrying out activism and resistance.

Thomas has encouraged me to view my writing as a valid form of activism, and one I can engage in from home even when my health is bad. Instead of marching, I'm writing regularly to my MP (which Write To Them makes incredibly easy). I'm putting my money where my mouth is on local, national and international levels. I've set up a direct debit to Leicester Rape Crisis, donated to the UK Black Lives Matter justice fund, Planned Parenthood and, after this weekend's events, to the ACLU as they seek to challenge the Muslim Ban in court.

Think about what actions you can take within your own limits - but also don't be afraid to sometimes push those limits. I know that a large protest in London is not achievable for me, but I joined a smaller local demo last night and although it was outside my comfort zone, I'm very glad I went. Being with others who feel the same anger, who also want change, is also a form of self-care.

I am staying off social media
I'm a social media addict and can happily spend an evening whiling away time on Twitter and Facebook, without achieving anything concrete. But I realised after Brexit that Twitter was having a detrimental affect on my mood; I could feel my anxiety and unhappiness kicking into higher gear as soon as I opened the app. And no wonder! At the moment it's an endless scroll of misery, brutality and fascism. So I deleted the app. I'm still reading the news, keeping abreast of what's happening, and taking actions where I can. But only visiting Twitter once a day has made an enormous difference to my mood.

Take time to consider your social media use and ask: is it telling me something new or does it make me happy? If the answer to both is "no" then switch off. It's ok to acknowledge that you have limits; it's ok to prioritise your health.

I am making & doing
In the run-up to Christmas I started sewing a lot and noticed an immediate upswing in my mood. And now that the festive season has passed I'm in full-on zine mode. Since the start of January I've finished one and started on my second, and seeing something tangible come out of my scribbling is hugely rewarding.

Make time each week for creative pursuits. This could be anything: baking, gardening, drawing, knitting, colouring... whatever you find most enjoyable. Spending time on an activity that requires both concentration and calm is a quick route to zen-like relaxation

I am embracing hygge
Yup, that word I'm afraid, but never fear - I'm not about to tell you to buy expensive new throws or designer Scandi candlesticks. What I am doing is making duvet forts on the sofa, lighting the fire, turning off my phone, and drinking lots of tea. Not exactly revolutionary, I know, but I'm trying to recognise this for what it is - essential self-care and something to be enjoyed mindfully - rather than beating myself up about not being more productive. Some days just call for fresh pyjamas, a 99p bunch of daffodils, and a good book, and that's ok.

Photo An Hour: Saturday 28th January

Sunday was the official Photo An Hour day this month, as arranged by Louisa and Jane. However, Sunday was the day I'd designated for pyjamas and sofa and not much else, so in an attempt to get vaguely interesting pictures I did mine on Saturday (together with a handful of others).

Last January I went to Nottingham with Thomas for shopping, vegan pizza and cider. This year my day involved heroic levels of procrastination, blogging, a 50th birthday party, and lots of vegan food (some things never change!).

10am:
Wow, I slept SUPER late! We went to see La La Land last night (opinion - did not enjoy it very much. I love musicals but the oh-so-clever ironic detachment of it really turned me off. I did love the end sequence though, which was beautiful) followed by the pub, doing that thing where you go for "a" drink and roll home 4 hours later. So I needed to catch up on my sleep!

11am:
Making vegan pancakes for brunch. This recipe is so easy: just flour, sugar, baking powder & a pinch of salt, plus water and vegetable oil, mixed to make a batter. We ate them with slices of banana, in an attempt to be healthy, plus syrup of course.

Midday:
Ah isn't procrastination grand? What I should be doing today is working on my application for a Masters in Gender Studies. But I urgently needed to rearrange my kids & YA shelves in colour order.

1pm:
Exchanging bookshelves for supermarket shelves. Our local Morrisons has such a brilliant range of vegan frozen foods, it makes shopping so much easier to not have to go into town to health food stores to get Frys stuff (FYI, their peppered steak-style pies are immense with mashed potato).

2pm:
Got home from the supermarket to find the postie had been, and delivered this most wonderful card from my brother. It makes me smile every time I look at it.

3pm:
Still procrastinating by catching up on blogging. Which is also on my to-do list for the weekend, to be fair.

4pm:

Missy's absolute favourite game at the moment is to watch the wall of the office while we make shadow puppets, which she then endeavours to catch. Sitting in front of the wall is is her oh-so-subtle way of telling me that she wants to play.

5pm:
Still. So. Much. To. Do. I can't be the only person who writes completed tasks on a To-Do list, simply for the pleasure of ticking them off, can I?

6pm:
An earlier-than-usual dinner. I listened to Craig Charles' Funk & Soul Show on 6Music as I got everything ready.

7pm:
Getting ready to go out. I'm designated driver for tonight's 50th birthday party in a village south of Leicester. And yeah, I literally only have one winter going out outfit - if you follow me on Instagram you'll have seen this quite a few times before!

9pm-11pm:
At the party. As it's a guy I used to work with, there were lots of old colleagues there and it was fun seeing them all and catching up with everyone.

Midnight:
Finally home from the party and feeling exhausted, but I had this little furface to greet me so it's not all bad.

A Day Trip To York

This post could be subtitled: In Which Janet Visits Somewhere Lovely And Fails, Once Again, To Take Enough Photographs. Or the shorter: In Which Janet Is A Shit Blogger.

So anyway.

Thomas and I had talked about going to York for a short post-New Year break but, when we realised it only takes 2 hours on the train from Leicester, decided to save some pennies and travel there and back in the same day.

Luckily, after a week of unsettled weather, Saturday dawned gloriously sunny, if very cold. Just the weather for wrapping up warm and exploring. We started our day at the lovely Little Apple Bookshop on High Petergate, before popping in to the brilliantly named Grimoire Bookshop a couple of doors down. A few pounds lighter - and our bags somewhat heavier - we walked past the Minster to Goji on Goodramgate, where Thomas got the most epic vegan hotdog ever (sadly one of the many things I failed to photograph - he'd scoffed it before I could even get my camera out.

Keen to make the most of the glorious sunshine, after popping into some charity shops, we headed to Monk Bar, from which we ascended York's ancient city walls. One of my favourite activities when I visited the city as a child was walking along the walls and peering into the back gardens as I passed by, and I can attest to the fact that having a good old nose around is still as fun now as it was then.

In need of sustenance (after all, I hadn't had a hot dog) we headed to Betty's. The crowd outside their St Helen's Square branch was enormous and we decided we'd rather queue in the warmth of their smaller Stonegate location round the corner. This is a much more traditional-feeling tea room but with the same excellent food and service as you'd expect from the venerable Yorkshire institution.

A few glasses of prosecco down - yes, we really did visit a tea room and fail to drink any tea - plus sandwiches for me and a torte to share, we reluctantly gave up our seats in the cosy nook by the fire and headed back out into the cold.

All told, it was a lovely day, and the perfect reminder that we don't need to spend heaps of money on weekend breaks to have a relaxing time away from home. Now to plan the next day trip: any suggestions?

A Year Of Buyer's Archive

For the past two years I've been keeping a note of all my clothing purchases, after being introduced to the concept of the Buyer's Archive by Elise. The goal was twofold: first, to make myself more accountable for my spending and to face up to the frankly ridiculous amount of cash I piss away on new clothes and shoes. And secondly, to give myself a tool with which to analyse my purchases a year down the line, the aim then being to become a smarter and more savvy consumer, buying what I know I will wear rather then frittering money away.

Numbers & Statistics
Between January 1st and December 31st 2016 I spent £712.57 on clothes, shoes and accessories and bought 61 different items, giving an average per-item spend of £11.48. This is a significant decrease of £457 on my spending during 2015, when the overall total was £1170 (partly because I didn't buy as many 'big ticket' items like coats in 2016 and partly because my income dropped so sharply after I left teaching).

A Closer Look
- Unlike 2015 (when I bought more dresses than anything else) in 2016 I obviously started experimenting with separates, buying more tops, t-shirt and blouses, and skirts, than any other item. I didn't buy any coats or jackets last year, but my shoe collection increased by 6 pairs. All of which, apart from one, were tan. Ahem.

- If striped tops and t-shirts were a discrete category, they would have made up 16% of my 2016 purchases. I definitely need a ban on new stripes in 2017!

- Almost exactly half (49%) of my purchases were bought new and at full price, with 12% bought secondhand and the remaining 39% bought new but at a discount (ah I love a good discount code!)

- 13 items came into my wardrobe from secondhand sources - charity shops, vintage stores or clothes swaps - which is the same total as in 2015. It can be extremely difficult to find decent plus size clothes in charity or vintage shops, but I did ok last year.

- The high street store I bought the most from in 2016 was H&M, followed by ASOS, Dorothy Perkins and La Redoute. All the bags and jewellery I bought were from independent sellers and markets, while clothes-wise I only bought a couple of t-shirts from independent sellers (via Etsy).

- My most expensive buy of 2016 was £40 on a secondhand Fjallraven backpack. The cheapest was £1.75 for a floral midi skirt from Age UK in Leicester.

- 12 items - or 19% of the total - have already been returned, sold on or donated. This is an improvement on 2015, when I returned, sold or donated 24% of what I bought.

The Best & Worst Buys Of 2016
My best finds were a black denim skirt from Primark, which I wear constantly, and the amazing t-bar shoes from Deichmanns which I bought in September (other ace purchases that month were the Fight Like A Grrrl t-shirt and the perfect polka dot midi skirt). While on the subject of polka dots, this skater skirt, a bargain at just €7 from C&A, was another bargain buy.

Sadly, my H&M cat t-shirt did not turn out to be a smart buy: Missy is mortally afraid of it so I'm going to be selling it on soon. And I haven't used the Fjallraven backpack as much as I expected - I think I'm too wedded to my tote bags to adjust to wearing a rucksack. Meanwhile, I'm not thrilled that such a large percentage of my buys are still being returned or sold/donated within a year.

Targets For 2017
Overall, I'm pleased that my spending went down in 2016 but I'd still like to get it lower: below £600 ideally. It's also ridiculous that - a handful of items aside - the majority of what I wear on a day-to-day basis are items I've had in my wardrobe for two or more years. Good for getting wear out of things, yes, but it suggests that the majority of these new purchases aren't actually useful additions to my wardrobe. So in future the questions I'll ask are: Does it fill a gap in my wardrobe, and Does it go with something I already own? If the answers to either are "no" then I'll be leaving it in the shop.

2016: A Year In Books

Despite the resolution I made this time last year to read more varied genres, in 2016 I once again stuck to a fairly limited diet of crime, thrillers and YA, with a smattering of literary fiction and non-fiction (all links will take you to my original review of the book).

Best Book I Read In 2016 (Broken Down By Genre If Necessary)
YA
I really enjoyed Dumplin by Julie Murphy, gloriously fat-positive YA and a book I would have loved to have read when I was a teenager. I also adored This Song Will Save Your Life, which reflected many of my own teenage experiences.
Contemporary/Literary Fiction
The Museum Of You by Carys Bray was just stunning: a moving meditation on grief and family, and properly funny too.
Sci-fi/Fantasy
I read the Daughter Of Smoke & Bone trilogy at the very start of 2016 and was absolutely hooked. Fantasy is not my usual cup of tea, but this tale of the battles between chimera and angels, across multiple worlds, transcend genre.
Thriller
I read Lie With Me when on holiday in September and thought it was brilliant, while The Kind Worth Killing is one of the best psychological thrillers I've ever read, and one I've pressed upon many other readers.
Non-Fiction
A Man Of Good Hope by Jonny Steinberg chronicles the life of one Somalian refugee and is absolutely essential reading in today's world.

Most Surprising (In A Good Way) Book Of 2016
I love Pride & Prejudice and I love Curtis Sittenfeld, so it shouldn't be surprising that I loved Eligible, her modern take on P&P. And yet I've hated most of the other Austen Project books, so I was shocked but thrilled to adore this.

Book I Read In 2016 That I Recommended Most To Others
As my job is now literally recommending books, there are so many I could mention here. But outside of work, my most recommended books have to be the Murder Most Unladylike series. I ended the year by buying piles of them for my nieces.

Best Series I Discovered In 2016
As someone who's not overly keen on reading series (I hate having to commit myself to anything beyond one book), I'm surprised to find that for 2016, this is a difficult one. The Wells and Wong series, as mentioned above, was one of my favourite finds, as was the Daughter Of Smoke & Bone trilogy. But as I've already talked about them, I'll go for the Spinsters Club series by Holly Bourne. Properly funny feminist YA fiction? I'm so there.

Book I Was Most Excited About & Thought I Was Going To Love, But Didn't
The Art Of Being Normal had been critically lauded both on the Bookstagram/book blogging scene and in the mainstream media. So I was disappointed to find it was not only a fairly middling read but also super problematic on class. If you're looking for YA with a trans heroine, If I Was Your Girl is a far superior book, and written by a trans author too. The #ownvoices campaign is something that I'll be getting behind in 2017.

Best Book That Was Outside My Comfort Zone Or From A Genre New To Me
I wouldn't have discovered Lucy Knisley's lovely graphic memoirs if it weren't for Laura mentioning that her new book was about marriage. As I'm in the midst of planning a wedding, I decided to take a look and I'm so glad I did. Something New was exactly what I needed to read - her reflections on bi erasure and what it means to be a queer woman marrying a straight cis man were particularly valuable to me - and I've since hunted down all her backlist, too, as well as seeking out more graphic novels.

Favourite Book From An Author I've Read Previously
I've found David Levithan's recent work very hit-and-miss, but You Know Me Well, his book with Nina LaCoeur, was a lovely queer YA novel as much about the important of friendship as about romance.

Best Book I Read in 2016 Based SOLELY On A Recommendation From Someone Else
I don't think I'd have picked up Deon Meyer's Benny Griessel series were it not for the constant recommendations from my aunt in Cape Town. But they're properly brilliant: high octane police procedural thrillers, but with the added benefit of insight into modern-day South Africa. Oh, and amazing settings too.

Favourite Cover Of A Book In 2016
Umm hello? Just LOOK at the cover of Dumplin'! I think I'm going to adopt Go big or go home as my motto for 2017.

Book That Had The Greatest Impact On Me In 2016
The book that, according to Kirkus, could "have been titled Black Lives Matter", Between The World And Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates is tough but essential reading.

Book That Had A Scene In It That Left Me Reeling And Dying To Talk About It With Someone
Another series I loved in 2016 was Charlaine Harris's Midnight, Texas series. And it didn't so much leave me reeling as wanting to talk about the multiple plot revelations across the series. It's impossible to describe the characters without major spoilers, so reviewing it was a challenge.

Favourite Relationship From A Book In 2016 (be it romantic or friendship)
The fierce father-daughter love between Darren and Clover in The Museum Of You.

Genre I Read The Most From In 2016
YA and crime, again. I'd rather be relaxing with another crime novel or YA romance than plodding through Bleak House, and I'm past feeling I need to apologise for this.

Best 2016 Debut
I thoroughly enjoyed Missing, Presumed, a superior crime novel with a political conscience, but strictly speaking it wasn't Susie Steiner's debut novel, just a debut for the series. Not Working by Lisa Owens - think Bridget Jones for the millennial generation - was probably my favourite actual debut.

Book That Made Me Cry (Or Nearly) In 2016
I sobbed like a baby at the afterword to When Breath Becomes Air, in which the author's wife describes his peaceful death from cancer. Unfortunately, I was on a train in Belgium at the time and got some rather odd looks.

Book I Read In 2016 That I Think Got Overlooked When It Came Out
I know this comedy of manners wasn't to everyone's tastes, but I really enjoyed Modern Lovers by Emma Straub and didn't see it mentioned much when it came out. I also really loved Naomi Alderman's feminist dystopia The Power, which was reviewed glowingly in the press but hasn't had quite the promotion I think it deserved.

Total Number Of Books Read In 2016
2016 was the year I stopped blogging every book I read, so unlike previous round-ups I have no idea what my annual total is: around 200, at a guess? The vast majority of what I read was by women authors, both cis and trans, but I could still do better at reading more books by PoC, so that's one goal for 2017 (and luckily, Americanah by Chimimanda Ngozi Adichie is top of my TBR pile, so I'll start 2017 as I mean to go on). However, my 2016 goal was to read less crime, and that didn't exactly come to pass....

2016: What A Fucking Year, Eh?

From the seemingly unstoppable rise of fascism, to the heart-breaking refugee crisis and the enraging response to it in the media, to the almost-daily death notices, 2016 has sucked balls. And while, on a personal level, it's had some high points, at times I've felt a bit like I've been in a holding pattern: lots of planning for what's to come but not much actual capital-p Progress. It's been a year of plodding from day-to-day, doing what I need to survive, without really getting to anyplace new. Still, I think I'm in a better place than at the start of the year and really, what more can one ask for?

Despite my travel anxiety ramping up to a whole new level, Thomas and I had some great trips: a weekend in Lincoln to start the year, a great few days in Edinburgh, a wonderfully sunny weekend with friends in Nijmegen, and a relaxing week in Crete. 

The big trip of the year for me, though, was the ten days I spent in Cape Town with my mum and step-mum, staying with my aunt and uncle for my cousin Caroline's wedding. It was so special to be in South Africa with my mum for the first time, and she regaled me with tales of her youth (they mostly fell into three camps: this is where I went to the library/this is where I protested apartheid/this is where I snogged boys. The first two were par for the course, the third somewhat of a shock!).

By far the best thing to come out of 2016 is this furry face. We adopted Missy exactly 6 months ago and she has been a constant joy (and a near-constant worry, we are such neurotic cat parents!). I quite genuinely don't know how I would have made it through those dark post-Brexit days without her. She remains a skittish little thing who prefers to sit near rather than on us, but she loves getting head rubs, playing with her favourite toys - a pink mouse and an old shoelace - and hanging out in the garden. Oh, and sleeping, as you can see from these pictures.

While this year hasn't been as productive creatively as I would have liked, I am so glad to have returned to sewing. I spent much of November and December beavering away on various projects and I think (I hope) that their recipients appreciated them.

2016 was also the year I finally finished the zine I'd been working on for almost two years. I had grand plans to complete another one before the end of the year, but with only hours remaining, that's clearly not going to happen. However, getting back into zines, visiting fairs, chatting to other zinesters and contributing to other people's zines has been one of my favourite things this year. 

Thanks to the encouragement of Ingrid (no way would I have submitted it otherwise), I had my zine accepted by Pen Fight Distro, which was genuinely one of my highlights of the year (I can't get over the fact that something I created is available to buy somewhere I'm not selling it, if that makes sense?!) and I also contributed to Lou's zine All Your Faves Are Problematic and Kirsty's zine about heterosexism, Versions Of Violence.

I suppose another big thing to happen in 2016 was starting a new blog, having destroyed the commenting system on my old one. I haven't been as prolific here as I would have liked, but am so happy that all my old readers and commenters seem to have followed me, together with some welcome new faces. My most popular posts of 2016 have been the one about our budget kitchen makeover and the one where you learnt some fascinating facts about me.

There's been so much that I haven't blogged about this year but that was important: I did jury duty, which was amazing and gruelling and fascinating; I finished teaching completely in July, and have yet to unpick my feelings around that; Thomas graduated with his PhD and since then has been travelling the country for research, visited Iceland, been published by TIME Magazine, and generally worked his arse off as a junior academic, which comes with zero job security. We made a decision to work towards leaving Leicester and moving to Edinburgh... which quickly had to be set aside as the realities of his work became clear, so we end 2016 still with no clear idea of where we'll be - job-wise as well as literally - over the next couple of years.

Finally, 2016 has been a year of friendship. I've had such fun times this year- a great day out with Leanne, a festive night in the pub with Rose, and a trip to Secret Cinema with London pals are just three that spring to mind. I've spent time meeting up with blogging mates, both old and new, and forged new friendships online (because internet people rule). But whether IRL or internet pal, old friend or new, these women have been such an essential source of strength and happiness for me in 2016.

And so 2017 approaches. There's a small event taking place in July, which I'm quite looking forward to. Thanks to our decision to have a super low-key, budget wedding, there's not a whole lot more to do on the planning, so hopefully the next seven months won't be too stressful.

Thomas and I have short trips to Norfolk and Barcelona planned already, and I'm sure that despite finances being tight, we'll squeeze another couple of holidays in somewhere. If we can bear to leave the cat for longer than a couple of days.

And as for goals, I want to start taking full advantage of the fact that I'm not as knackered and stressed as I was when teaching, and make use of my evenings. From volunteering at Leicester LGBT Centre's Trans Youth Group one evening a fortnight, to joining a choir and working on more zines, 2017 is going to be the year I get off my arse and do something. Oh, and speaking of doing something, there are fascists to fight. Let 2017 be the year we all commit to not being the people who stand by and do nothing.

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

The presents are (mostly) wrapped, the cake is decorated, the candles are lit, and Christmas is truly on its way.

I've had a lovely, busy few weeks of festive activity. The last few Saturdays have been filled with socialising, from afternoon tea with Becca & Elle, to Christmas drinks with Thomas and our friend Rose. This week, Rebs came to stay and we went to a brilliant benefit gig for Leicester Rape Crisis featuring Sara Pascoe, Josie Long and Grace Petrie, and the next evening I went to Leicester Cathedral for their annual Seven Lessons & Carols service. Despite having been an atheist for the past twenty years, my nostalgia for the Christmas's of my childhood (which were spent singing in the choir at church) leads me back to that institution every Christmas. I sing the carols with gusto and enjoy the traditions which meant so much to me when I was a child, before sloughing it all off come December 26th.

Unexpectedly, and wonderfully, I have almost two weeks off starting today. Tomorrow, Thomas and I have a Christmas Eve of reading, country walks, Prosecco drinking, and festive film watching planned, before driving to my mums' house on Christmas morning. And so, in the spirit of the season, I'm signing off social media and blogging for a few days. Have a wonderful Christmas, folks, and I'll see you on the other side!

What I've Been Reading Recently

The Girl Who Saved Christmas*
Matt Haig
Rating: **
A Boy Called Christmas (released last year) was as festive as it gets, providing a wonderfully heart-warming origin story for Father Christmas. This follow-up focuses on the deliberately Dickensian story of London chimney sweep Amelia, orphaned at Christmas and condemned to the workhouse. As saccharine sweet as a candy cane, this is a sequel that doesn't quite live up to the promise of the first book. I enjoyed the cameo by Charles Dickens but, overall, I'd stick with the original unless you have small children of your acquaintance with whom to share this story. 

Murder Under The Christmas Tree
Assorted authors
Rating: ****
Murder Under The Christmas Tree does what it says on the tin: a collection of festive crime short stories by authors as diverse as Ian Rankin, Margery Allingham and Ellis Peters. If you're a connoisseur of vintage crime you may already be familiar with some of the older pieces, such as the Lord Peter Whimsey story, but overall this was a lovely read: entirely unchallenging (in a good way) and as cosy as a log fire.

Let Them Eat Chaos*
Kate Tempest
Rating: ****
A polemic in poem form, in Let Them Eat Chaos Tempest examines the isolation and alienation of modern life via seven characters who live on the same London street. Taking in everything from Brexit to the refugee crisis, austerity, climate change, and the failures of neoliberal capitalism (which makes it sounds a bleak read), it is also exceedingly entertaining and begs to be read aloud; in fact, Tempest has written a foreword to this effect and it is is also available as an album. A powerfully moving call to arms that I know I will revisit when trying to process the events of 2016.

This Song Will Save Your Life
Leila Sales
Rating: *****
Elise is an outsider - when she's not being ignored at school, she's being laughed at - and this leads her to self-harm. And then, on one of her nightly walks around town, unable to sleep, she stumbles upon an underground indie club night. She makes friends (the fat- and slut-positive Vicky is one of my favourite book characters of 2016), she falls for an unsuitable boy, and she finds her salvation in DJing. There was so much in This Song Will Save Your Life that reminded me of being a teenager and I think a lot of people who were indie weirdos at school will feel the same. Is the plot completely perfect? Well, probably you can't become a hotshot indie DJ with a few weeks of practice, no. But I loved it regardless.

Dangerous Women*
Roxane Gay
Rating: *****
Roxane Gay's Bad Feminist is one of my favourite of the recent crop of feminist essay collections, so I leapt at the chance to read Dangerous Women before its January release. A short story collection, its recurring themes - race, gender, abuse and violence against women - make this a sometimes tough but always necessary read. Each story unfolded slowly and carefully: never did I feel that they were rushed, nor were they overlong. I came away feeling enriched by the glimpses of the characters lives and their resilience. Without a doubt my favourite short story collection since Jhumpa Lahiri's very different but equally superlative Interpreter Of Maladies.

* This book was kindly provided by the publishers via Netgalley, in exchange for an honest review

Photo An Hour: Saturday 17th December

In what I think is a record, I managed to remember Photo An Hour for the fourth month in a row, yay me! However, I mostly used my phone to take photographs yesterday and some of them aren't transferring properly from there to my laptop, and I'm frankly too hungover to work out what the problem is. So while some of these are different to the photos I posted to Instagram during the day, they were all taken at or near the appropriate hour.

For #PhotoAnHour last December, I had a lovely, festive at-home day of wrapping, reading, baking, and Strictly-watching. My day this year wasn't all that different, actually, although I did eventually leave the house (hence the hangover).

9am:
It's basically impossible to come up with different first photos every month: I've done my bed, my bedroom, my book... yesterday morning I woke up at about half past 8 to find Missy cowering from the washing machine (her greatest enemy), so at 9am I was still sitting on our bed with her, trying to get her to settle down to sleep. Hence the not-terribly-exciting photo of my dressing gown and the quilt.

10am:
By 10am the evil washing machine had finished tormenting her and Missy was up and begging for food. She's been mostly disinterested in the Christmas tree, but decided this morning that perhaps Dreamies were hidden in amongst the parcels, and had a good old nose around.

11am:
I'm making a few embroidered hoops as gifts this Christmas and spent a couple of hours in the morning working on this one (while trying to discourage the cat from chasing the thread as I sewed). Just a tiny peek, as I don't want to spoil the surprise.

Midday:
The first of my missing photographs was of Missy staring at my embroidery. Ah well, I had too many cat photos in this post anyway. At midday, the postman had just delivered a stack of mail, including - thrillingly - these amazing Shakespeare stamps, which are destined for our wedding invitations.

1pm:
A knock at the door, another postie, and the delivery of two boxes - a Thrifty Gift Swap parcel from Em and the most wonderful box of treats from Alex, which included The Best Card In The World. Just look at it: hundreds of Missy cats!

2pm:

Some final bits of gift wrapping to complete, with the requisite Christmas music playing in the background, of course.

3pm:
This may just look like another obsessive photograph of my cat (and is, undeniably, that too) BUT it's also capturing for posterity the moment Missy decided to try sitting on my lap again! You may remember from Photo An Hour in November that she'd only just started sitting on our laps.... well it lasted about three blissful weeks, and then she seemed to regress and went back to being very skittish and wary of us. So I was over the moon that she decided to settle in for a cuddle yesterday afternoon (even if it meant I couldn't finish my embroidery).

4pm:

Up to now I'd been in my pyjamas all day (BLISS!) but it was finally time to get dressed and venture into town for some last bits of Christmas shopping.

5pm:
My Daily Mail-reading, Brexit-voting step-grandmother is spending Christmas with us at my mums' house. What to get a racist old lady? Why, a Fair-trade scarf from India, of course. She probably won't even notice, but it cheered me up.

6pm:

While trying to find a pub that wasn't rammed, we walked past this beautiful front door adorned with beautiful wreath.

7pm:

Not only did we find a pub, but it had a lovely quiet upstairs area with tables - hooray! Meanwhile, I was very taken with Rose's necklace.

8pm:

Still in the pub, and this photo illustrates nicely why I'm so hungover, because apart from this packet of crisps, I didn't have anything to eat. Oops.

10pm:

I think that, strictly speaking, this was about 10.30pm when we finally left the pub and wended our merry ways home...

11pm:

...where I unpacked my bag and remembered that I'd bought myself the best fox socks earlier.

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

Sarah asserted this week that bloggers fall into two camps at Christmas: those who have a theme, and those who have an ethos. But I reckon I have both. From the piles of foraged greenery to the homemade tree decorations, my Christmas decorating theme is simple, natural beauty with just a dash of glitz.

And my ethos? Probably much the same. For me, Christmas - and the far more exciting run-up to the big day - is about small, simple pleasures but with an added dose of luxury. Whether it's lighting scented candles, spending time with loved ones, settling down with a good book next to a roaring fire, or drinking my own body weight in Prosecco, December gives me the chance to do all my favourite things in the name of festivity.

And one of my favourite things to do is decorate the house. No hall is left un-decked; stand still long enough in my house come December and you'll probably find yourself draped in fairy lights and sporting an ivy crown.

As I wrote about last week in my wreath how-to, evergreens are one of my favourite things with which to decorate. Every year I raid the local hedgerows and gather armfuls of greenery to pile high on the mantlepieces, intertwined with LED fairy lights and baubles for added sparkle.

This gorgeous Dashwood Studio Christmas Village fabric (from Crafty Sew & So, a great workshop and haberdashery space in Leicester) is a close match to the George at ASDA festive bedlinen I missed out on last year and have sulked about ever since. I used it to make some festive cushion covers, as well as whipping up a new stocking to hang by my fireplace, so that even our bedroom has a dash of Christmas charm.

Before last Christmas, I'd never thought of fresh flowers as a decorating essential. Then Blossoming Gifts kindly sent me a festive bunch to review and now I don't think I'll ever go without. My budget this year didn't stretch to a fancy mail order bouquet, but Aldi came up trumps with bargain Fairtrade roses and berry sprigs, which I combined with eucalyptus from my mum's garden.

And while I still think my house could do with MOAR DECORATIONS, it really is beginning to look a lot like Christmas here...