Who Am I?

I am someone who needs to clean their mirrors better

I figured that a new blog needed a new introduction, a whistlestop guide to me. So, who am I?

1. I am the opposite of a perfectionist - an imperfectionist? - always seeking the quick solution rather than the best one. Shelf look straight? Ah, I'm sure it'll be fine, no need for a spirit level. Skirt need hemming? No need to bother with pinning, I'll just sew and hope for the best. This tends to work out as well as you'd imagine...

2. I tell people that the first gig I went to was Elastica at Leeds Metropolitan University, but that's a lie. It was actually Take That at Bradford St George's Hall.

3. I am enormously noise-sensitive (the scientific term is misophonia) and struggle to cope with a lot of noises, most notably the sound of other people eating. 

4. The book that changed my life was The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe, because it was the first book that I read on my own. I must have been about five at the time, and I remember hiding under my bed covers to finish it after my mum had tucked me in.

5. My tipples of choice are Earl Grey tea, Prosecco, and Aspalls cider (although not together).

6. I suffer from the chronic condition, IBS. If I'm ever hanging out with you and I disappear to the toilet for an hour, this'll be why.

7. I absolutely detest vinegar. The smell of it, the taste of it, the thought of it, just bleurrrgh.

8. And while we're taking about things I detest, I have a deep-seated hatred of Shaun Keaveny and his unfunny, irritating early-morning schtick on 6 Music. Any time before 10am I just need people to STFU and play music.

9. The last few videos I watched on YouTube were Beyonce's Formation, Streisand singing Don't Rain On My Parade, a video about an orangutan and a dog who are best friends, Joanna Newsom performing Peach, Plum, Pear, and a recording from the long-forgotten (but not by me) UK series of So You Think You Can Dance?

10. I'm barred from entering the USA.

I am someone who likes stripes, as you can no doubt tell from these photographs

11. There's an eight year age gap between me and Thomas. He's a spritely 29, while I'm a few weeks off 38. But with a PhD and a proper job, he's enormously more qualified to be an adult than I am.

12. While we're on the subject of education, it took me six years to complete my undergraduate degree.

13. And my big ambition for the next few years is to start a Masters degree in Gender Studies, which will hopefully not take me six years to complete.

14. I've never come out to my dad. When I was starting to figure out that I liked girls as well as boys (and non-binary folk too: one of my first partners was genderqueer), not long had passed since my parents had split up due to my mum coming out as lesbian. I thought that coming out to him would be, at best, a kick in the teeth and, at worst, 'proof' that my mum was an unfit mother and a bad influence, blah blah blah. So I just left it. And left it. But my dad regularly reads my blog so I'm pretty sure he's at least partially aware that I'm queer. It's just... never come up in conversation.

15. Despite being most easily categorised as an indie girl, the music in my collection spans everything from Marilyn Manson, to the Rent and Les Miserables soundtracks, to DJ Shadow, to One Direction.

16. I think my best features are my eyes and my hair. And my eyebrows, when they're under control (which isn't often).

17. The worst job I've ever done was working in telesales making cold calls. I lasted about two hours, until my first break, and then ran away.

18. I'm frightened of sparklers. Not phobic, but I don't like holding them. Or being near them.

19. My patronus would be a sloth. Or a super lazy cat.

20. My one talent is extremely accurate impressions of singers. I do an immense Kate Bush (if I do say so myself) and my Brian Molko is pretty good too.