Thursday, 6 July 2017

I Will Not Be A Perfect Bride

I will not be a perfect bride and I will not have a perfect wedding.

I will be a size 18 bride, as I am a size 18 woman. I haven't slimmed for the wedding, haven't tried to turn myself into a different, smaller version of the person Thomas fell in love with. I understand why, in a society in which fat-shaming and diet culture are pervasive, many brides choose to diet. But I won't, I didn't. I will wear my double chins and my back fat and my stomach with pride. I will not be a perfect bride.

I will be a scarred bride. I am blemished and tattooed and scarred and I will not cover them with clothes or with make-up. I will wear the marks on my body because they are my history, each one bringing me closer to the person I am today, the person who Thomas knows and loves. I will not be a perfect bride.

I will be a bride with a chronic illness. I will be carefully attending to my medication regimen and diet in the next three weeks but, nevertheless, I will be a bride who needs the loo a lot on her wedding day. I will not be a perfect bride.

I will be a bride with as little anxiety as possible, which means that I will not have a perfect wedding. It will not be very Instagrammable, nor will it look like a Pinterest board. It will be simple and ramshackle and DIY. But it will also be silly and fun and oh-so-very 'us'.

Because while I will not be a perfect bride, I will be a very happy bride. I will be surrounded by family and friends, who are collectively travelling a total of 61,000 miles to be with us in Leicester. Every aspect of our day - from the reception venue to the cakes to the photographer - involves people we know and love. And, most importantly, I will be with my boy. The one who goes into another room to eat crisps because he knows I can't stand the noise. The one who took six weeks to kiss me when we started dating. The one who thinks my most annoying quirks are not just tolerable but actually cute. And while he won't be a perfect bridegroom, either, he will be - and is - perfect for me.

17 comments:

  1. That's beautiful Janet. Have a special day, Kirsty x

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  2. Aww all the heart-eye-emojis for this! You wedding is going to be amazing :) xx

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  3. I've been a lurker here for years, but I had to say, this is such a beautiful post. I wish you a wonderful, enjoyable day!

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  4. How lovely! Have an amazing day with your amazing partner, family, and friends. xx

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  5. Well, it sounds to me like you will have the perfect wedding - YOUR perfect wedding. And that's what matters. Who cares about Instagram?

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  6. And it's all these things that DO make you the perfect bride.
    Wishing you both a very happy day xx

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  7. Thanks for this! Have a wonderful day on your wedding day, but more importantly, enjoy life after!

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  8. It'll be so, so brilliant. You have exactly the right mindset, in my opinion, for creating a great wedding - all you need is love, friends, music, food and booze - the rest of the little, twiddly bits really don't matter. Wishing you and Thomas all the best - you'll have a blast, I'm sure. Can't wait to read all about it.

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  9. And this is an adorably perfect post.

    Best wishes on your not-so-perfect-but-nevertheless-perfect day.

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  10. 'Perfect' is one of two words I would love to ban ('should' is the other).

    You might not be perfect, but you're awesome ;) . Have a wonderful day x

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  11. Love this so much. I was completely the same with my scars; I considered covering up for about a minute then thought 'fuck that' and just got on with it. I was going to say it was
    fine, but actually it was great.

    Liz x
    Distract Me Now Please

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  12. Beautiful! And only three weeks? Wasn't it a year away, last time I checked?!

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  13. This is such a lovely post. I hope you have the most wonderful and happy wedding day :) x

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  14. Love! To be completely yourself on your wedding day is the perfect way to be in my eyes. I love your attitude, the perfect bride myth has really mutated into something obscenely ridiculous in our culture. All the best for a happy and relaxed day! X

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